Finding God

I continue to be moved and inspired every time I go to the prison to volunteer.

Last night, I had a different group of men, filling in temporarily until their normal volunteer leader.  One guy seemed really open and had a lot of knowledge about the bible and growing in Him.

The other guy was very quiet.

When the quiet guy finally opened up … what he said nearly brought me to tears.

I have struggled a lot in the past with my sin.  The fact that I have two kids and have never been married.  Up until the last year or two … I have realized through God’s grace … that I am forgiven and I’m clean again.  The more I beat myself up about my past  and my current circumstances, the less I am trusting the God that forgives me.

I went into this volunteering at the prison with a humble heart.  ..realizing that there is no degree to sin.  You either sin or you don’t.  God doesn’t have a ranking system.  With that being said, the guys that are in prison doing time are no different than me.  I’ve made some really crappy choices in my life and have paid the price in one way or another. 

We got on the subject of that last night and the quiet gentleman opened up to us.  He has 3 daughters and grandchildren.  He’s been in and out of prison/jail for several years.  And has always had an issue with alcoholism and drugs.  We talked about how all of our life experiences lead us to the next one and that everything in our life serves a purpose.

For him, being a former crack addict and alcoholic, he wants to try to reach some of his friends that are making the same mistakes that he did.  He also said that a lot of his friends have died as a result of this lifestyle and now their teenage/young adult children are making the same mistakes.  Once he’s out of prison, he wants to set up a program for juveniles and try to reach them.

..and that’s exactly what God would want.  He wants to use him and his past mistakes to bring more people to Him.

To me, that makes so much sense.  You couldn’t send me into a group of young adult drug users to try to preach about God’s Grace.  Why?  Because i’ve never done drugs.  I truly dont’ understand that addiction, so I wouldn’t be a good tool.  But this guy will be an excellent one.

He told of a story in jail that was a defining moment for him.  His name is John.

He said that he’d never had any respect for child molesters.  Word around the jail was that there was a child molester that was there at the time.  One night, a bunch of guys came up to him and told him that they had a plan to “stomp” the child molester.  John said something in him told him not to do that, and he knows it was the Holy Spirit guiding him. 

Later that night/early morning about 4 a.m. John was sitting at a table out in the commons area reading his bible.  The molester walked over to him and asked what he was reading.  When John realized what the molester had asked, he also realized that he didn’t know how to read.  They sat all night and talked about the bible, Jesus and forgiveness.

Later that night, John looked out his window into the commons area and saw that man on his knees praying to God, tears streaming down his face.

He was forgiven.

And John was humbled.

 

Those stories touch me so much and remind me that his sins are no worse than mine.

I’m continuously thankful for this opportunity to serve God in this capacity.